Dads Matter Too

"Are you expecting, or have you just had a baby?"  

"How are you feeling?" 

Quite often these questions are directed at the mother... However, this is also a time of huge time of transition and learning for dads.  

Not only have you just had a baby, but you may also have witnessed your partner going through a difficult pregnancy or birth, or your baby may have been (or is) going through a difficult time. Perhaps your partner is going through her own emotional struggles? Or perhaps you are.   

All of these factors will impact on you, yet all too often dads feel they can't reach out for help. There's a myth that they have to be 'strong', despite possibly experiencing their own feelings of anxiety, feeling out of control and other things too. 

As a father you are fundamental to your baby's well-being and positive growth - dads matter and there is support out there for you too.  

DorPIP Trustee and Perinatal Mental Health expert, Dr Andy Mayers says: 

"Often husbands and partners are overlooked when it comes to providing support and information on mental health. Evidence suggests that the risk factors -  and impact - of perinatal mental health are reduced when mums have a supportive partner.  

Furthermore, fathers can also develop 'perinatal mental health' problems (either as a result of their spouse's/partner's illness, or independently). There is often little guidance available for men to understand the causes, risk factors, treatments and prognosis of perinatal mental illness, quite apart from what support they can give to their partner. Fathers also need information on how to improve their own mental health". 

You can take a look at Andy's website, which has lots of information for dads and dads-to-be.

If you would like to have an informal chat with one of our specialists please click here to find out how to access our support.

Links for Dads

Dad Info Logo

DAD.info

A website covering a wide breadth of advice and information for fathers. Includes sections on physical and emotional well-being.

 

Daddy Blues cover

Daddy Blues by Mark Williams

Mark Williams led a content life; from a working-class background, he worked his way up into a promising career and then met the love of his life. When his wife Michelle fell pregnant, it seemed as though everything had fallen into place for them.

Except Michelle’s labour didn’t go well. She was forced to undergo a C-section, an experience which deeply traumatised both of them. And when it was time to take their child home, Michelle seemed different. Gone was the woman that he had fallen in love with, replaced with someone who couldn’t pull herself out of a deep, dark depression.

But it wasn’t just Michelle who felt the baby blues. Mark too felt as though he had lost something, succumbing to feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. He had never heard of fathers going through postnatal depression, but with a baby that wouldn’t stop crying and a wife he could no longer connect with, he felt like he was losing himself more and more each day. So he found solace in old habits, and found his escape at the bottom of a bottle.

A touching story from a rarely explored perspective, Daddy Blues tells the tale of a man learning to deal with a problem he never knew he could have.

 

Dude You're Going to be a Dad cover

Dude You're Gonna be a Dad! by John Pfieffer

There are approximately 3,712 ways for a guy to look stupid during pregnancy―this book's here to help you avoid all (most) of them. And here's your first hint: Focus on what you can be doing for her rather than what's happening to her.

She's pregnant. She knows that. You know that. And her 152 baby books tell her exactly what she can expect. Your job is to learn what you can do between the stick turning blue and the drive to the delivery room to make the next nine months go as smoothly as possible. That's where John Pfeiffer steps in.

Like any good coach, he's been through it. He's dealt with the morning sickness and doctor visits, painting the baby's nursery and packing the overnight bag, choosing a name, hospital, and the color of the car-seat cover. All the while he remained positive and responsive―there with a "You're beautiful" when necessary―but assertive during the decision-making process. (He didn't want to wind up with a kid named Percy.) And now it's your turn.

She might be having the baby, but you have plenty of responsibilities.

 

National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse logo

National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse

The goals of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) are to provide, facilitate, and disseminate current research, proven and innovative strategies that will encourage and strengthen fathers and families, and providers of services.

 

Dad Pad logo

The DadPad

As a new dad you will feel excited, but you may also feel left out, unsure or overwhelmed. The DadPad can help by giving you the knowledge and practical skills that you need.  The resource will support you and your partner to give your baby the best possible start in life.

 

Fatherhood Institute logo

The Fatherhood Institute

The Fatherhood Institute is one of the most respected fatherhood organizations in the world. A registered UK charity (number 1075104), our work focuses on policy, research and practice.

Our vision is of a society in which there’s a great dad for every child – a society that:

  • gives all children a strong and positive relationship with their father and any father-figures
  • supports both mothers and fathers as earners and carers, and
  • prepares boys and girls for a future shared role in caring for children.
  • In working towards this vision we:
  • collate, participate in and publicize research
  • lobby for legal and policy changes
  • help public services, employers and others become more father-inclusive, and
  • work directly with families.